Back in 2017, not long after Splatoon 2 originally launched, Nintendo forced all players to battle one another with ketchup and mayonnaise in one of the game’s Splatsfests. The Splatfest was repulsive, the smell afterward lingered for days, and I notably criticized Nintendo at the time for forcing such a heinous thing upon us all. Now, in the midst of a global pandemic of all things, Nintendo has come up with the bright idea of making Splatoon 2 players once again battle to the death with ketchup and mayonnaise.
That’s right, despite retiring Splatfests last summer, Nintendo is bringing back the timed mode to Splatoon 2 next month. The war will once again see armies dedicated to ketchup and mayonnaise obliterating one another starting on May 22 and lasting until the 24th. Nintendo was clearly so preoccupied with whether or not they could bring this Splatfest back, that they didn’t stop to think if they should.
For real though, in the grand arc of Splatoon 2’s Splatfest lineage, why is this the one that was resurrected? While I’m sure many are excited to see Splatfests returning, ketchup and mayonnaise? Really? The idea of bathing in a battlefield of white and red gunk that is mean to represent food items is revolting. I’m really starting to question Doug Bowser’s leadership over at Nintendo.
It’s a #Splatoon2 #Splatfest so contentious we have to do it twice! #TeamMayo and #TeamKetchup are back and it’s up to you to determine which sauce is the boss!
This bonus one-off Splatfest kicks off 5/22 at 3pm PT and ends 5/24 at 3pm PT. pic.twitter.com/n5Ar6EUkJ0
— Nintendo Versus (@NintendoVS) April 22, 2020
On the plus side, if this nasty war of sandwich condiments is somehow alluring to you, Nintendo is releasing a new demo of Splatoon 2 beginning later this month on April 29 and lasting until May 6. If you like what you play during that trial phase, you’ll then be able to purchase the full game at a discounted price. Considering Nintendo rarely ever discounts their own first-party titles, this actually might be the best price that you’ll be able to snag Splatoon 2 for in the forseaable future.
In addition, #Splatoon2 will be available at a discounted price on Nintendo eShop during the duration of the Splatoon 2 Special Demo 2020, & a free 7-day trial of Nintendo Switch Online will also be available so you can play online with friends!https://t.co/aAc752hg4g
— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) April 22, 2020
Splatoon 2 is available right now, exclusively on Nintendo Switch. While I personally don’t plan on taking part in this nasty-ass condiment war, I will leave you with this vital, evergreen piece of information: if you like mayonnaise, you’re a disgusting human.
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